Adult Child: "I can't take you to your appointment on Thursday."
If you work, you can’t just leave in the middle of the day to take your parents to medical appointments. What happens if you’re repeatedly absent from work? What if your parents need you while you’re in a business meeting? How can any adult child handle every possible emergency? As a caregiver, you can never relax. You’re constantly waiting for the phone to ring, especially if your parent is still driving. You never know what might happen.
In general, doctors do not like to be placed in the role of police, but a physician may help soften the blow when you tell mom or dad it’s time to surrender the car keys. You can assess their fitness for the road by answering the following questions honestly: Do your parents have substantial visual deficits or hearing impairments? Have they sensibly compensated for poor night vision by limiting or giving up driving after dark? How is their cognitive function and mental clarity? Have they had car accidents or near-misses?
The decision to give up driving can make the world much smaller for your parents. Now you may begin to worry that your parent is living alone and growing increasingly isolated. Research from Harvard, Tufts and major universities has shown that isolation and inactivity accelerate mental and physical decline. Researchers at the University of Southern California warn that the relationship between parents who need care and their adult children often deteriorates into “disharmony.”
How can you make sure your parents are ready for future health care issues or financial worries? Consider how well your aging parents will handle chores like laundry, cooking and grocery shopping. Not to mention arranging transportation to multiple medical appointments. Can your parents enjoy more comfort, service and security for the same budget? The answer is yes. There will never be a better time to make good choices.